Taking a Peek Inside My Head | Kazunori Takashio, Dean of the Graduate School of Media and Governance
I feel a bit off...
One day, just a few days before Golden Week. I was on my way home after finishing my classes and a research meeting with my grad students. I had just come out of the Tozai Line exit and was almost home when I noticed that my body was swaying a bit. When I calmly checked my condition, I realized I couldn't walk straight.
A lot has happened since early spring... maybe exhaustion is finally catching up with me.
Since I didn't notice any other symptoms, I didn't think much of it at the time. I got home and just sat down for now. No issues as long as I didn't move. I had an appetite, too. Looking at my laptop screen to finish up some work I brought home was just a bit tough. The next day was pretty much the same.
The next morning. I couldn't get out of bed. The dizziness was terrible. I knew it would pass if I lay down for a while, but even moving around the house was tough. I did think, “Uh oh, this might be bad...” But since I had experienced a similar thing a few years ago (and back then, I recovered after sleeping for a whole day), I was still pretty optimistic at this point. I quickly contacted my lab mates to let them know I'd be joining the research seminar remotely.
The next day, I woke up drenched in night sweats. My body was definitely crying for help. The dizziness when I stood up got even worse. Squeezing some time in between meetings, I went to check out my usual clinic. There was a sign saying “Temporarily Closed.” Ah, it's the Friday right before the long holiday, I get it. I totally get it. I told the pharmacist at my regular drugstore about my symptoms, and they looked a bit troubled. Apparently, there aren't many over-the-counter meds that directly treat dizziness. They recommended some herbal medicine (Kampo), so I got it. It seems to calm things down for a few hours (or so it feels). Since the clinics are closed anyway, I figured I'd just take it easy over the holidays. And just like that, my Golden Week this year completely vanished.
To be honest, I actually wrote the last 'Okashira Diary' while I was in this condition. The saving grace was that my mind was completely clear, and I had absolutely no issues thinking or doing manual tasks while sitting. No severe headaches either, so I could still write and solder. By the time the holidays ended and classes resumed, my symptoms had gotten much lighter. I explained the situation to the staff in the secretary's office and told them I'd be commuting to campus within my limits. Traveling by train meant taking frequent breaks. Stations without platform screen doors were a bit scary. Normally, I'd walk in through the door next to the main building and take the stairs straight up to the 3rd floor, but that was naturally too tough, so I took the elevator. When I asked the staff in the secretary section, they said my walking still looked pretty shaky. Sorry for worrying everyone. That reminded me, the results of my blood test from a few weeks ago should be out. I dropped by the Wellness Center and told the doctor about my recent symptoms.
I got chewed out. Like, seriously chewed out.
Right then and there, they called the neurology department at a certain hospital and set up an appointment for me. The next day, I canceled my classes and meetings and headed straight to the hospital. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of large hospitals because of some bad memories from the past. But I had no choice. Even in the examination room, the doctor gave me a super grim look. I'm so sorry, I've learned my lesson.
After a standard check-up, I moved to another room, lay down on the machine, and got my head scanned in cross-sections. I sat on a bench and waited for a while until they called my name again. Headed back into the examination room. The doctor and I looked at 'the inside of my head' up on the medical display, layer by layer, from the bottom all the way to the top. It was my first time, of course. My heart was pounding, worried they might find something, but at the same time, I found myself getting super excited.
Fortunately, they didn't find any major issues this time. The doctor just said something like, “There’s a little hardening in the blood vessels near the cerebellum.” They told me it's fine to just keep an eye on it. The cause of the dizziness remained a mystery, and my symptoms had pretty much cleared up by then anyway, but I was still super relieved. Now, I have zero symptoms and have been able to get both my life and work completely back to normal. At the same time, I've started making a real effort not to bottle up stress more than ever. Though given the nature of my job, it's pretty much impossible to avoid stress entirely. I guess I'll have to lay off the alcohol for a while, too. To everyone who has had to listen to me vent more often lately, I'm sorry.
Oh right, peeking inside my own head this time reminded me of a student who once generated a 3D model of his own brain from MRI cross-section images, printed it out, and carried it around with him. I think that was right around the time 3D printers were first introduced to the campus. I wonder how he's doing.
At the entrance of the Delta Building, a student from the lab stopped me and said, "Look at this!” Following their gaze, I saw a palm-sized bust of myself sitting on top of a cabinet along the lab's glass wall, lined up next to some other robots. Apparently, they modeled it from some facial photo of me. The printing precision is great, and it's beautifully colored—honestly, it's really well done.
I decided not to be a buzzkill by bringing up 'portrait rights' or anything like that. Instead, I asked them, “I'll get the data for you, so can you make a little gimmick where you can peek inside my head, too?”
P.S.
Just the other day, when I attended a board meeting for a certain academic society, the people around my age who were there with me also chewed me out big time. Everyone, if you feel even a little bit off, please go get checked out at a hospital right away. Especially if it's a symptom where a brain condition is suspected. Regardless of your age.